Sheila and Keith

Using the learning from the Finding Someone Special Toolkit

How Ian found his love

We were thrilled when Ian wrote in to tell us he had got engaged. It wasn’t to someone he had met through friends1st directly but it was completely as a result of his friends1st membership. This is primarily because as part of his Platinum membership he received the Finding Someone Special Toolkit – a fabulous dating resource giving members all the skills and knowledge they need to get themselves in the right place to date successfully. I remember talking to Ian about one of the exercises in the Toolkit which is about asking people for their phone numbers. He was trying it out – even though it was outside his comfort zone – but then he said there was no point paying for membership and not making the most of everything we were advising him to do. It was certainly an incentive to make his membership fee work hard for him. So that is exactly what he did – and it paid off – as you can see from the email he sent in:Dear

Friends 1st,

Just a line to let you know that I am now officially engaged! I joined you last September in some desperation about finding a life partner amongst all the evidently happy singles I had been mixing with in other groups. I wondered if I might find somebody through your organisation. Following reading one chapter of the Finding Special Toolkit, I went through an interesting phase of asking attractive women of my slight acquaintance for their phone numbers, thereby causing embarrassment both to me and to the numerous happily married women I tried it with!

Subsequently, I have been on several dates with fellow members. Notwithstanding not putting all eggs in one basket I have also been a member of a branch of the Rambler’s Association. I joined it with my previous partner about a year before we split up, and have continued with my membership, if only for the fresh air and exercise.

Back in 2011, I had met a lady named Anne while still with my previous partner. We met on a couple of walks and also at a firework party organised within the Rambler’s Group. We got on very well at a social level. A few months later I was newly single and tried in vain to meet again with Anne throughout 2012. It later transpired that she worked on Saturdays, which was my main walking day, while she walked on Sundays, when I went to church.

Finally, on a cold Saturday last February, I attended a Friends1st lunch in Banbury. We had an interesting talk before lunch, and after a good lunch, Katharine videoed me for my video profile. She also encouraged me to keep being proactive even as time was ticking on. I returned home thinking a further effort had been put in, then I realised my branch of Rambler’s was putting on a Quiz Night that very night, not far from my home. It was a chilly night, and the temptation was not to venture out. However, I remembered Katherine’s injunction to keep on trying, so out I went. Imagine my delight when I arrived to find Anne sitting there in our team! I attempted to be charm itself throughout the evening. Our team did well, partly through the mine of useless information in the back of my head, and we came in a creditable second. As we were leaving I took Anne to one side, and explained that, since we only met once a year, it was imperative she gave me her mobile number, which she did!! (It was at this point that I was so grateful that I had done all that practice with other ladies asking for their phone numbers as there is no way I would have plucked up courage to ask Anne for hers had I not had the practice beforehand.)

Inveterate texting followed, eventually followed up with numerous dates in Costa Coffee venues. Theatre and dinner dates followed, until she eventually agreed to the concept of an engagement – some weeks after I first asked her. July has been a wonderful month. One Monday we had a day trip to Brighton, for her to chose the ring in one of the numerous jewellery shops in the Lanes. We had enough time left for a swim in the sea, before she had to be back to meet her youngest son from school. Two weeks later we took High Tea at Cliveden, where I got on one knee and proposed. At a late stage in life, and with five children between us, we are engaged for the first time in both our lives!


7 Deadly Relationship Sins

Are you faultless or do you commit any of the 7 deadly relationship sins? deadly-sins-leadbait

“Thank you for encouraging me to increase my age range. If I hadn’t done that we’d have never met”

(Val 61 retired)

“I have finally made contact with Steve. Thank you for your encouragement not to give up.’

(Ellina, Teacher)

Thank you very much for the number of contacts I received this month, with the various ages. I am so pleased – it lifted my spirits up. Thank you very […]

(Lizette,  Advisor for volunteering)

Thank you for doing such a great job – I’m so grateful that something like friendsfirst exists. I hope and trust that God is holding and keeping and blessing you […]

(Julie, PA)

7 Deadly Relationship Sins

Are you faultless or do you commit any of the 7 deadly relationship sins? deadly-sins-leadbait

Talk to us today on 01 531 4997 Monday - Friday 9:00am - 5:30pm